Average joe turned modern day superstar

The following thoughts stem from my personal experiences as well as those close to my heart. Now I consider myself to be a moderately attractive young black woman. If we were to go by the general laws of attraction, the general consensus of guys which would seem to approach me are classed as "your average Joe".

This average Joe can be described as being an attractive male, aesthetically not stunning (let's face it if you were, you'd be in pursuit of your modelling career) but someone whom you'd class as "decent".

(N.B please note if you look like the above, you’re not the average Joe and ! *wink*)

In previous times I have had no qualms with the average Joe in fact the "average Joe" was once a childhood favorite of mine. The fact of the matter remains that the average Joe now considers himself to be some type of "Unsung hero" « quoted by an average Joe himself.  -_-

Now I'm not trying degrade this decent looking man at all (he does a good job of that all by himself), but to many of us females you're what we grew up on, so excuse us if we have no excitement left in our eyes when we see you. 

However times have changed in modern day London. The black male is now in high demand, as the appreciation of his classic beauty has been acknowledged by females across every race. Be them white, yellow, purple,

Asian... (Need I go on?) Now I don't have an issue with interracial dating...whatever floats your boat mate. What I do have an issue with, however, is the fact that you play on this change in society!

The "average Joe" however is in popular demand for numerous reasons.

I don't know about you guys but one thing that I have noticed in the urban social scene (i.e. raves) is that females always look the part, or at least make the effort to.  Brazilian, Peruvian, Malaysian, and Chinese weave, nails did, the right dress that accentuates all the right areas and killer heels that commit shoe-i-cide, true to the words of Fabolous… SHE BE KILLING 'EM!

But to the disappointment of many, for every chick that be killing 'em, there’s a brother that is doing the same with his hideous face.

I hate to use this word simply because beauty lies in the eye of the beholder and all that jazz, but "ugly" guys seem to be roaming the streets of London like vermin. And the situation is no different in a rave.

Now let me use this scenario to explain why Mr. Average now thinks he's the shit. A little maths equation for you all. Let's say the ratio of female:male is 3:1. Now let's split the male ratio of mr ugly:mr average:mr good looking into 4:2:1 (this is your casual group of male friends). I hope I've still got you.

Ultimately there are more females in the rave, on the male side mr ugly outnumbers his counterparts, therefore boosting the demand for mr average and mr good looking. Mr average having seen his ugly mates lack of success with the opposite sex subconsciously put himself on the same level as mr good looking

The above experience would repeat itself in various establishments and presumably boost ones "ego", giving the once average Joe some sense of confidence. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying confidence is the issue, personally I think confidence is the most attractive quality in a person. But there is a fine line between confidence and cockiness. And it’s this line that I find is not being respected at all by the average Joe, and is being crossed way too many times.

Definition of confidence: Self belief within yourself

Definition of cockiness: A self belief based upon the degrading of others.

It is no way attractive to put yourself up on a pedestal at the expense of others...Just not SEXY!

You’re just the average Joe!!

Know your role is society and Shut the f#*k up!

Have and nice day!

Cocoa

:)

This post was co-written by a good friend who wishes to stay anonymous

I'm a modern girl living in a 1960's African Village...

I've been an avid fan of the Brothers With No Game blog since the infamous Hesky blog days. Although I don't agree with some of the theories they post, I respect the fact that they have the balls to post their theories no matter how ridiculous they may seem.

However, their latest post struck a chord with me and really hit home. "Men Are Men, Right?"...and kinda coincides with the name of this blog.

Over the past week I've been having a debate with a few of my nearest and dearest as well as a few randoms. The issue being "whose responsibility is it to pay for the first date?"

Conditions being:

1. The guy initiated contact with you.
2. He then suggests meeting up.(Hoping that he's grown enough to not suggest his "yard").
3.You then arrange to meet up in a social setting. (Cinema, Bowling, Nandos, Whatever Floats Your Boat)

Is this a situation that it should be every (wo)man for themselves, or the classic gentleman's approach of treating a lady?


However, this great debate has lead me to ask some questions about myself and my whole approach to dating. I'm a traditionalist. I believe in the whole courting stages...and love to be wooed. A big romantic at heart. However I don't wear my heart on my sleeve. For a man to get to my heart I believe he has to work.

My guy friend who believes that I'm crazy for thinking this way assumed that it's because secretly I'm living the life of a Blackberry Babe.

Contrary to popular belief this is untrue, I don't believe in modern day prostitution! I wouldn't accept anything from a man that I had no intention of being with. *sorry to all you sugar daddies out there*. Personally I have too much pride for that and wouldn't want to feel like I owe someone something, or in turn for the man to feel like because he's done a,b,c..I also now owe him.

This goes back to the original point highlighted in the BWNG post "Men no longer know how to be men...and the same for women (not knowing how to be women)...but more so men"

Maverick covered the male perspective of the issue but I'm more concerned with the female aspect...although I've been referred to as a traditionalist living in a 1960's African village...have I lost all sense of how to be a woman?

Am I letting this huge sense of pride rule my heart? Am I no longer letting a man be a man? And is the era of the independent woman the cause of this?

I'm all for women's rights and I'm grateful for the epic moments in history that have allowed me to have opportunities to work in certain industries without being discriminated upon. Have songs such as Destiny's Child "Independent Women" killed the role that men long to play in our lives?

At this stage in my life I don't consider myself to be completely independent (after all, I'm a university student relying on student loan and the bank of dad). I am however, completely independent of a man, and I'm not asking for a man to support financially. But I mean who wouldn't love to hear a man say "No don't worry, I got you".

Being raised in an African household, although I was raised by a single mother, my father was active for most of my childhood. And my perception on how a MAN should behave around women is based on him. For example my dad would be so offended if he went to a restaurant with females and they offered to pay..it's almost like an insult "Do you not think I can not afford it?"..now I'm not saying you should live beyond your means..if you can't afford Nandos, then you can't afford Nandos!...But be creative. We live in city which offers numerous free activities...take a trip to the park and have a picnic!

I'm a strong believer in being wooed and I don't think it makes me any less of a woman because I would let a guy who I'm interested in pay for the first date.

Feel free to continue this debate below guys..

Cocoa
:)